Here’s my standard, kneejerk response to reading the headline of most cnn.com articles: “I don’t give a shit about your goddamn xxx.”
I vacillate between thinking I’ve become unbelievably cynical and thinking reportage has become unbelievably cynical. Either way, it’s a painful thing, and becomes exponentially more painful if I *see* a report on television instead of read about it online. Therefore I avoid tv news as much as I can.
God damn Time’s inexorable marching fucking forward.
Love has gone away and there’s no one here now, and there’s nothing left to say; but, oh, how I miss him, baby.
Late season manatees? Early season manatees? Beats me. Y’all are supposed to be up in the Everglades right now.
Shot with my I-phone, encased in a thing!
From Wikipedia’s newest content:
Did You Know…
… that Swedish singer Jasmine Kara (pictured) has performed in front of singers Beyoncé Knowles and Jay-Z?
One of my standard internal go-to replies to Wikipedia’s “Did You Know” section is “I could not possibly give less of a shit.”
This gallery contains 8 photos.
Fifteen feet of water, you can see straight down to the bottom. Reef absolutely sloppy with fish. A little reef shark cruising through. Turtles on the way in and out. An outrageous day.
Occasionally I have to input ‘Florida’ in an online address block, and a lot of the time the auto-complete that comes up from the drop-down menu is “Federated States of Micronesia.”
I urge the dozen or so people who actually save a couple seconds because of that auto-complete to kiss 20 million Floridian asses.
Amy: “It’s so huge! How big does one of those things get?”
Fry: “Well, that depends on what one of those things is. That seems like a fact worth knowing.”
Carole at Alligator Reef. Barracuda, nurse sharks, sea turtles, sundry colorful fish n a lighthouse!
It’s becoming clearer with each passing day that everybody on earth who isn’t me is suffering from Asperger’s.
—Vice President Joe Biden flubs the name of Virginia’s Democratic Senate nominee Tim Kaine while speaking in the state.
—Biden swaps ‘i’ with ‘o’ in fresh gaffe seized on by Romney camp
Which children at CNN think that getting this guy’s name slightly wrong amounts to a gaffe? Why do I allow these children to bring me the news?
In the words of Inigo Montoya: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Baseball has one major problem: not enough serious injuries. A lot of baseball’s so-called injuries are just “a strained this” or “a sore whatchamacallit.” In today’s culture that’s not good enough. Fans are crying out for someone to be hurt really badly. So, to raise the injury level, what I would do is place thirty to forty land mines in the outfield; the kind of mines that spray thousands of tiny nails when they explode. Not only would this add excitement, it would also provide a refreshing element of surprise: “There’s a high, lazy fly ball to right field. O’Neill drifts over, pats his glove . . .” BOOOOOOM! “Holy fuckin’ shit! Oh, good Lord! Oh, precious, precious Lord!”
George Carlin, Napalm and Silly Putty
One time Fat found a posted notice that fascinated him. The notice stipulated what could not be done, in order of descending importance. Near the top of the list all parties concerned were told: NO ONE IS TO REMOVE ASHTRAYS FROM THE WARD. And later down the list it stated: FRONTAL LOBOTOMIES ARE NOT TO BE PERFORMED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PATIENT. ‘That should read “prefrontal”,’ Doug said, and wrote in the ‘pre’. ‘How do you know that?’ Fat said. ‘There’s two ways of knowing,’ Doug said. ‘Either knowledge arises through the sense organs and is called empirical knowledge, or it arises within your head and it’s called a priori.’ Doug wrote on the notice: IF I BRING BACK THE ASHTRAYS, CAN I HAVE MY PREFRONTAL? ‘You’ll be here ninety days,’ Fat said.
Philip K Dick, Valis