23
Sep
Sandwich Henge
Anthropologists recently discovered a remote tribe in Papua New Guinea that slices its sandwiches based on celestial calculations of the length of a day. Yesterday, for the first time in six months, the tribe cut its sandwiches exactly in half. As the year wanes, one side of a sandwich will become smaller and smaller, until the winter solstice, when its size will slowly increase once more.
Scientists have yet to advance a satisfying explanation for the tribe’s behavior. What seems clear, though, is that sandwiches are much lighter than giant rectangular rocks, such as those that are found at Stonehenge. Also, a sandwich-carving knife can be manipulated with one hand, whereas sixty-ton stone slabs require more than that, as well as loud grunting.
As one can see from the following picture, the size disparity between the monoliths of Stonehenge and The Autumnal Equisandwich is considerable:
In fact, the sheer size and hardness of the Stonehenge lentels make the idea of carving them with a sandwich knife impractical.
There are several other advantages that the sandwich holds over Stonehenge as well. One is that Stonehenge, while awesome and imposing, is virtually inedible. Another is that the small size of the sandwich allows for easy alignment of the sliceline toward an almost limitless number of religiously important sunrise locations, something the Druids of ancient Britain, with their stone slabs and their savory meat stews, could only dream of.
