19
Mar
to kill or not to kill? KILL. KILL!
This is the structure of one of my fondest maladies: usually the last thing I do before I sign off the computer at the end of the night if I’ve been on it is to play at least one game of hearts. If I win the first game, that’s great, but if I lose, I have to play until I win.
After playing a game of microsoft hearts, a window comes up with my score versus the cyber people I’ve been playing: Pauline, Michele, and Ben. If you’ve ever played this game, you are familiar with these names. Win or lose, this window comes up. In the window, there’s one button to click: “OK.” If I click “OK,” microsoft hearts starts another game, whether I want to play or not. Exing out of the window will also bring up another game. In fact, there is no way to stop playing microsoft hearts without first being dealt an initial hand for another game. In other words, from within the program, I can’t end the game as a winner; it forces me to start another game, and then ex out of the program.
This is unacceptable. I must end hearts on a winning note. I will not allow the program to mock me by making it impossible to finally and satisfyingly win. Therefore, what I do when the “OK” window comes up after winning a game, is open my copy of “winpatrol,” which is basically the same thing as “windows task manager” only with more options, open the “active tasks,” scroll down to “microsoft hearts,” and KILL MICROSOFT HEARTS. I KILL IT DEAD! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Which I realize is petty and a malady, but which is nevertheless also very, very satisfying.
Stop fucking with me, microsoft!
