a diamond is until next Tuesday

I’m a practical guy. When I proposed to my wife, while it wasn’t exactly out of the blue, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I mean, I didn’t bide my time, calculate, buy an engagement ring, and all the stuff a man is “supposed” to do. So I didn’t have an engagement ring to give her. I didn’t have anything to give her to symbolize my love for her; I gave her my love, I didn’t need any symbols.

But my wife has let it be known once or twice over the years that she misses not having an engagement ring.

Like I said, I’m a practical guy. So, when I look at somebody’s big ring on her finger, I don’t think “Why, isn’t that lovely!” I think “My GOD! They could’ve put a downpayment on the Biltmore with the money that thing must’ve cost!”

The whole thing the DeBeers people spew about how a man should spend 2 months’ salary on a ring fills me with loathing. They are evil, calculating bastards. I remember, years ago, the DeBeers people used to say that a month and a half’s worth of salary was adequate to do the job. I remember vividly when they changed the commercials to reflect their escalating, filthy lust for my money: it was in the 80’s. Do you remember that? It really happened. The DeBeers people are filthy.

There are ways to show you love someone without lining the pockets of the already super-rich. And I don’t mind symbols of love, until someone starts making a business out of it.

I’ll probably buy my wife a ‘substitute ring’ someday to make up for my crass refusal to make the diamond people richer. Who knows, maybe I’ll put a downpayment on the Biltmore for her.

ps: she does have a wedding ring. I’m not totally heartless.

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