Category Archives: mach?

mach?

How old are you?

When a kid or a functionary asks me that question, I’ve had occasion to have to think about it: “How old AM I?” I really can’t remember. And when I do figure it out, sometimes I’m relieved that I’m not … Continue reading

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Bobo, part 2

After much thought and effort, I have named the constellations. They are Bobo, Little Bobo, the Duck’s Foot, the Rocking Horse, and Wendell the Paper Kite. Giving Wendell an unbelievably long and complicated tail was a huge timesaver.

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Would that I were kowtowed to more often

It is my firm belief that the world would be a better place if I were kowtowed to more often. I can see a world in which that happens. If people I don’t know spent more time being nice to … Continue reading

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Bobo the organ grinder monkey

Above: an artist’s conception of the constellations Bobo the Organ Grinder Monkey and Little Bobo the Organ Grinder Monkey I’ve decided to name my own constellations. You heard me! My education and inclination have failed me to the extent that … Continue reading

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“Teen Disappears”

Teen Disappears What’s weird is that the national press just got done publicly flagellating themselves over the newsworthiness of the last pretty white kid who got kidnapped. Dear Press: what is wrong with you?

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laid low by serendipity

Laughing crook scolded by Penticton judge; packed off to jail PENTICTON, B.C. (CP) – A man who admitted to armed robbery couldn’t stop giggling in provincial court Wednesday, but it was the justice system that got the last laugh. “Stop … Continue reading

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somebody squealed, and I ain’t taking the rap

But Woodward and Bernstein could get no confirmation and did not write of Ehrlichman’s order until Dean revealed in his July 1973 Senate testimony that Ehrlichman had ordered him on the Monday after the Watergate break-in to tell Hunt to … Continue reading

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under glass atop a velvety pedestal

Speaking of turds, dinosaurs produced a lot of them. I’m sure the Smithsonian has drawers-full of coprolites stashed away in their attic. The dinosaurs were prolific coprolite generators because there were no toilets in the Mesozoic era. So every turd … Continue reading

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here’s a thing:

Even the purest vegan will slap at a mosquito.

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now that we control electron spin, can hover cars be far behind?

“Scientists’ abilities to control the spin of the electron help determine the properties of the photon, which in turn could have implications for the development of optoelectronics and quantum cryptography. Photons could be encoded with secure information, which could serve … Continue reading

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the turds of logic

I’m a website novice. I have a dim understanding, won only through clicking many many buttons, of how my website works. Therefore, when I noticed that a click on www.mach∏.com led not to my index page, but to a “page … Continue reading

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police sketching

I was looking at this post on Jwalk, showing a police sketch of a crook and the actual crook (after he was nabbed) side by side, and I thought “Never in a million years could I describe a face well … Continue reading

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Fences: an incredibly complicated treatment of the obvious, with a diagram that wasn’t worth the hassle

Privacy fences are a necessary part of suburbia, because few things are more fraught and tedious than feeling obliged to talk to the neighbors. Fences allow people to ignore other people, and that’s healthy. A neighbor who’s out of sight … Continue reading

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part 42, in which the foundation of my coming curmudgeonhood is laid

I’ve only recently realized how successful my plan to divorce myself from the popular media has become. Today in the paper, in the “Buzz” section, there is a story written about the Most Beautiful Person of 2005 (according to Vogue … Continue reading

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backpacking tools

David and I have backpacked for twelve years. In the beginning, it wasn’t easy to say whether or not we’d make it a continual thing. The first two expeditions, in fact, if not disastrous, were certainly less than satisfactory in … Continue reading

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NIMBY (and a short discussion of Ingredient Q)

Let me get this out of the way: I’m not a leader. There is an extra ingredient one has to have on top of being smart and observant and glib, let’s call it Ingredient Q, in order to be a … Continue reading

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It would be a big help to me if there weren’t so many idiots

What is it about Southern Progress that makes it suck so? Are the natives just thoughtless idiots? Probably; they probably are. In all probability, they are. Idiots is what they are, probably. You know what I bet? I bet they’re … Continue reading

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Progress sucks

The nicest people I know say “I’m all for progress, but…” when confronted with some hard industrial or commercial nut that’s fallen into their backyard. “I’m all for progress, but I don’t see why those condos they’re talking about building … Continue reading

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Hatshepsut and the Pirates

As I was reading the comics page in the newspaper this morning, it occurred to me that over half the comics on the page have been around at least as long as I’ve been around. Hi & Lois, Hagar the … Continue reading

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“Coca Cola Presents Pope Splendiferous I”

Rome (AC)– BREAKING NEWS: Catholic cardinals have elected new pope… Cardinal Friedrich Fumedecor… Will take the name “Coca Cola Presents Pope Splendiferous I”…Pope Splendiferous’ first proclamation: “Ego sum iens ut Disneyland”… More details as they develop…

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