Category Archives: neighbors

mowing the lawn or “I hate my neighbors”

I mowed the lawn for the first time this year yesterday. I did as much of it as I could, since I ripped the crankline out by the root on the last crank. Luckily it started on that one. I … Continue reading

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Fences: an incredibly complicated treatment of the obvious, with a diagram that wasn’t worth the hassle

Privacy fences are a necessary part of suburbia, because few things are more fraught and tedious than feeling obliged to talk to the neighbors. Fences allow people to ignore other people, and that’s healthy. A neighbor who’s out of sight … Continue reading

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NIMBY (and a short discussion of Ingredient Q)

Let me get this out of the way: I’m not a leader. There is an extra ingredient one has to have on top of being smart and observant and glib, let’s call it Ingredient Q, in order to be a … Continue reading

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It would be a big help to me if there weren’t so many idiots

What is it about Southern Progress that makes it suck so? Are the natives just thoughtless idiots? Probably; they probably are. In all probability, they are. Idiots is what they are, probably. You know what I bet? I bet they’re … Continue reading

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Progress sucks

The nicest people I know say “I’m all for progress, but…” when confronted with some hard industrial or commercial nut that’s fallen into their backyard. “I’m all for progress, but I don’t see why those condos they’re talking about building … Continue reading

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crime and sanctuary*

I live in a very safe neighborhood. Nobody leaves their backyard lights on at night. I think I can make a case that the safety of a neighborhood varies inversely with the number of houses that leave their backyard lights … Continue reading

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my neighbor and the wealth of nations, or ‘That Shit Crocks Profoundly’

I was talking to my next-door neighbor yesterday, for three or four minutes. Sometimes it’s unavoidable. The subject happened to be the air travel industry. My neighbor said that he thought it might be a good idea to re-regulate the … Continue reading

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a new year’s resolution

I’m 41, so I think it’s time I take vindictive pleasure in being here to see another year rung in despite all my enemies. HOO HA HA! Take that, forces of evil! I made it to another year, despite everything! … Continue reading

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my neighbors in Ohio show their asses

To digest the fact that we had the largest voter turnout in 30 years and still lost the popular vote, we have to assume that the sixties are well and truly dead. Democrats can no longer wring their hands and … Continue reading

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my neighbor shows his ass

This morning I awake to find that a Bush/Cheney sign has sprouted in my neighbor’s lawn, like a mushroom. It’s a week before the election, and now our short cul-de-sac is no longer an all Kerry bastion. Before, courtesy of … Continue reading

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Hotspot III

I’ve spent the last three hours mesmerized by the free wireless connection that my laptop has tapped into. I was able to download many programs that I’ve come to depend on while using my regular ‘puter, but have been too … Continue reading

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Hotspot II

Apparently my neighbor doesn’t have his computer turned on all the time, which is a travesty. I’ll have to talk up the benefits of continuous connections at the next block party, provided I can think of some, and provided we … Continue reading

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Wireless Hotspot

Today I fired up my laptop to make sure it still works. It does, but it also is doing a golden, golden, unlooked-for thing: it’s tapped into somebody’s nearby wireless connection. Some neighbor of mine has unknowingly picked up a … Continue reading

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