Category Archives: thought lozenges

a surprise, a sneeze, and despair

I wonder how different history would be if, instead of having a man in the moon, we’d had a frowny-face in the sky. Or a tangerine. What we have up there now is the expression of someone partway between a … Continue reading

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I love the weather

I like being in a new place that has weird weather. It’s one of the main things I like about new places. And every place besides the place I live in now has weird weather, because I’ve gotten used to … Continue reading

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pinholes in black velvet

Through cunning devices and methods, people found out what stars are, and what they’re made of. They found out how big they are and how old they can get. I think that’s pretty amazing. Good for us!

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the kids are insane

When I was eleven or twelve or thirteen, my parents were freshly divorced, and my mother was barely scraping by on Markham with four kids. I remember knowing it was (relatively) hard times for us, and knew that some things … Continue reading

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How old are you?

When a kid or a functionary asks me that question, I’ve had occasion to have to think about it: “How old AM I?” I really can’t remember. And when I do figure it out, sometimes I’m relieved that I’m not … Continue reading

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here’s a thing:

Even the purest vegan will slap at a mosquito.

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Hatshepsut and the Pirates

As I was reading the comics page in the newspaper this morning, it occurred to me that over half the comics on the page have been around at least as long as I’ve been around. Hi & Lois, Hagar the … Continue reading

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1 + 1 = we’re all going to die

I have exactly two superstitions. Between them, I can explain the universe. The first superstition is that if I talk about something, it’s not going to happen. The Pizza Gods superstition is a manifestation of that. The second superstition is … Continue reading

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my kingdom for a screwdriver

I don’t like hearing mathematicians talk about how inelegant or uninteresting a particular problem is. If a problem has an inelegant solution, that says nothing about the solution, but everything about the code that’s used to solve it. Our symbolic … Continue reading

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as finely formed in their molecules as they are in their enormity

The best metaphors are extensible and fractal in nature. They are as finely formed in their molecules as they are in their enormity. For example, the billions of people are like the Oort Cloud surrounding the sun that is Society. … Continue reading

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longjohns are good to wear when it’s very cold

I think the difference between who I am now and who I was when I was a young adult is in the amount of things I’ve noticed. It’s just a sheer quantity. And like Stalin or Lenin or a famous … Continue reading

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a hole network

I want to be exactly this rich: I want to have a nice, big country house in southern Mississippi, and I want several absolute holes in other states in the middle of nowhere, holes priced like 2 year-old expensive cars. … Continue reading

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the various Kibble Gods

I was trying to come up with a good, succinct definition for the term ‘domesticated animal’ the other day. I realized that the definition has to reference cats and dogs, but it also has to reference horses and cows and … Continue reading

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petitioning God

I want to start a formal petition to God, requesting a fabulous omen. I think I could get a lot of signatures.

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Beer, importance of understanding

It’s important to understand beer.

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