“Big-assed Birthday Extravaganza” is an annual holiday observed in parts of the United States on the third Monday in February. This year it is February 15. Big-assed Birthday Extravaganza was originally celebrated in 2007, when someone noticed an unusually large number of his friends, relatives, and famous people had been born in Februarys past.
The original charter:
Since Brian, Copernicus, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, one of my brothers, Ken, my dad, and my mother-in-law all have birthdays within the same 2 week span, I propose we combine them all into one big holiday, to be observed on the same day in February from henceforth. I propose that it should fall on the third Monday of the month, and we call it “Big-assed Birthday Extravaganza.” I propose that it should be a day that department stores hold “white sales,” on account of all of them are white, even Copernicus, probably. I propose that only women, women of every color, every stripe of the rainbow or multi-hued towel, may take advantage of the sales, except for beer, which of course is largely consumed by men of stout heart and should always be on sale. I propose the holiday should be a time of blithering, that every citizen should have the right to blither about any damned thing without fear of ridicule or benign indifference from his or her fellow countrypersons.
Happy Big-assed Birthday Extravaganza!