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1997
There was this group of American kids on the steps outside the Venice train station; each had a bottle of wine she was drinking, each was sitting next to her backpack. It was 9 in the evening or so, we … Continue reading
Posted in hope, original research
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They’re ALL going to die
I just noticed that they’re all going to die. They’re all going to die. I need to stop saying “Oh, that’s too bad” when celebrities keel over, because they’re all going to do that at some point, until I do. … Continue reading
Posted in curmudgeonhood, no hope, original research, thought lozengers
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Violent E pauses to philosophize in Jarkhand
Posted in humor, original research, outside, picture, science
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More Legroom
If I pay you an extra fifty dollars, I don’t want you to pinch me less hard, I want you to stop fucking pinching me. That’s why “more legroom” coach is such a hard sell. Yes, it’s better than regular … Continue reading
Posted in curmudgeonhood, original research
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Crank
The difference between the fiftieth time and the five hundredth. Wouldn’t it be great if every time were the fiftieth time?
Posted in big idea, original research, thought lozengers
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Puerto Rico
If we admit them, we’ll have to admit a slave state too. It’s more complicated than it looks.
Posted in curmudgeonhood, fear for humanity, original research
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$151,000, just sitting there in a market-tracking account, makes as much money every year as a full-time minimum-wage worker.
Posted in original research, politics
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exciting times
If Hillary Clinton is elected, it will mark only the second time that a married couple has been elected individually to the Presidency, following Grover Cleveland and husband Benjamin Cleveland Harrison. Truly a remarkable accomplishment.
Posted in lies, original research, politics
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Question: is there a cartoon that is anywhere near consistently funnier than Futurama?
Answer: No, there is no such cartoon.
Posted in comics, original research
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the ethnography of the liquor people
When I was a kid I wondered whether I’d turn in to one of the guys I read about, guys who ordered hot toddies in cherry-paneled rooms. Guys who smoked meerschaum pipes or large cigars while waiting for the butler … Continue reading
Posted in curmudgeonhood, humor, original research
1 Comment
hybrid fuel economy tall-tale
You know how it’s said that a hybrid gets better city mileage than highway mileage because 1) the gas engine shuts off when the car is stopped, and 2) because of regenerative braking? That’s gotta be bullshit, and here’s why: … Continue reading
Posted in curmudgeonhood, humor, original research, science
3 Comments
those lying, lying liars
You know how scientists and historians are liable to liken the total time civilization has existed versus the total time the earth has existed to “the blink of an eye?” At the drop of a hat? I’ve always taken their … Continue reading
Posted in big idea, curmudgeonhood, humor, original research, science
5 Comments
Bill Gray
The Tempest (Joel Achenbach, Washington Post, May 28) Gray’s crusade against global warming “hysteria” began in the early 1990s, when he saw enormous sums of federal research money going toward computer modeling rather than his kind of science, the old-fashioned … Continue reading
Posted in fear for humanity, original research, politics, weather
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Question: Why take diet pills when you can enjoy Aids?
PistolWimp – AYDS: America I remember this commercial. I don’t remember it being so funny. And I guess the weird and irritating use of the word “question” to preface a question has been around longer than I thought. I tried … Continue reading
Posted in humor, Links, original research
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