to those who voted for Nader: Sorry!

Not only Nader, but anyone who voted for a 3rd party candidate: I apologize. I apologize because, in 2000, I remember pitying you bastards who woke up on election Tuesday and thought “Today I’m going to throw my vote away.”

That’s what I thought you thought. The stupefying innocence of a vote for someone who wasn’t the Democratic candidate was breathtaking to me. The cavalier way I thought you flushed your vote down the toilet, when so much was at stake, when instead you could have—if you’d just used your head—voted for the anti-Bush, was remarkable. I know; I remarked on it for several years.

Things have changed. Last week, I could’ve voted for anyone my little heart desired, and the outcome would’ve been exactly the same. So I’m embarrassed that I ever thought of you as naive. Who was I kidding, anyway? Last week, I could’ve voted for the Michelin Man and gotten exactly the same results.

I’m not being facetious at all, although it sounds like I’m bordering on it.

Epiphanies don’t happen very often for me. This latest one will require me to never vote pragmatically again.

Because, you know, pragmatism isn’t worth it, if you lose anyway.

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