Parade magazine has recently made me aware of this new breed of cat. Breeders expect to have the Toyger looking like a tiger by the year 2017 or so. While this may sound like a great idea–I mean, who wouldn’t want a pygmy tiger loping around his house–I want to make it clear that this should only be the beginning. Besides research on pygmy tigers, I feel we must also demand that research on pygmy lions, pygmy giraffes, and pygmy elephants not be put on the back burner. Every home in the year 2017 should have at least these. A herd of pygmy elephants ambling through my kitchen while I sit at the table drinking coffee… that would be a good thing.

And even better, of course, would be an additional tribe of pygmy pygmies that would follow the herd and clean up the resulting miniature piles of elephant shit.

This entry was posted in fear for humanity, humor. Bookmark the permalink.